If
my mentee changes schools, what do I do?
Let the Seedling Program Mentor director know.
She will assist you in following your mentee if you are willing and able
to do so.
·What
if my mentee has a problem that he/she does not want to share with
family or teachers or counselors?
Unless your mentee is in physical danger, ask
permission to talk to his/her counselor. Listen carefully. Trust and
confidentiality are the foundation of successful mentoring
relationships.
·What
should I do if my mentee misbehaves?
Let your mentee know what your expectations are
and what you will do in the future (e.g., report the incident to the
counselor, terminate the session, or whatever seems appropriate to
you). Be clear, firm and consistent without becoming angry.
·What
if my mentee does not seem to care about his/her education?
Be patient, listen and communicate the
importance of education. Though you can be clear in stating
your belief
that education is essential, be non-judgmental in
your exploration of alternatives and consequences.
·How
do I respond if my mentee asks a question that I cannot answer?
It is natural not to have all the answers; the
important thing is to be honest in admitting that you don’t know. Offer
to help your mentee learn the answer, or let them know you will try to
find out the answer for your next meeting.
·What
if my mentee mentions the incarcerated parent?
Listen carefully. If the child is expressing
pain or sorrow to be separated from his/her parent, say, “It must be
very difficult for you not to see your mommy/daddy every day.” Then
listen and let the child talk. The key issues are: letting the child
know that you heard the pain expressed—and—letting the child know that
you are willing to have the conversation.
·What
if my mentee never mentions the incarcerated parent?
Then just be a consistent and caring presence in
your mentee’s life and know you are making a difference.
How do you close a relationship with a child?
Take turns talking about the activities
you have shared that were most special to each of you.
Talk about what the relationship has meant
to you and give your mentees an opportunity to do the same.
If you definitely plan to return in
August, tell your mentees so. Let them know that you will think of
them over the summer. If you want to, you could give your mentees
stamped, addressed envelopes so they could write you.
You might give your mentees a picture of
you, or of the two of you, for safe keeping until you see one another
again.
If you wanted to give your mentee a gift,
our program strongly recommends giving a book. Ask the school
librarian for an age appropriate recommendation. Many children who
live in poverty do not own a book.
If you know for certain that you will not
be returning in August, it’s important for you to let your mentees
know that. Please do emphasize that your ending the relationship has
nothing to do with them or anything that they did “wrong.” Children
tend to personalize adult decisions and it’s important that they not
feel responsible for your leaving the relationship.
Do a final project together that they
could take home with them. Bring your camera and take a picture of the
two of you that your mentee can keep.
Make a calendar together so that they can
see when you will be coming back to see them.
These special gestures will ease the
sadness your mentee might feel about “losing you” – if only for the
summer months.
Do you have a question? Just click the
link below and send it to our Mentor Directors! Your question may
be added to the FAQ page.
Thank you again for the wonderful job you are doing as an informed
Mentor.
